So basically, I'm assuming that you know what this post is going to be about.
If you don't know who a eunuch is, I'm going to put the definition into two simple words; castrated males; which actually just means, that they've had their male genitalia removed in order to adopt to feminism. I'm not going to lie, it's a poor effort, but they have become a regular part of our lives.
May it be in trains or at traffic signals, street corners or bus stops, eunuchs, or the mumbai-ya word that we've developed, "chakkas", have found a way to creep into our lives by begging, no, wait, DEMANDING for money. It's a huge industry. Rampant on the streets, these eunuchs refuse to leave your car window at a signal or your face or hands or clothes at bus stops.
Now, as a Mumbaikar, I've observed closely, that, there are, in fact, 3 types of people who have 3 different methods of dealing with these demanding "women".
First, are the adorable people who don't want to be rude so they respond with things like "hey, you know what? I got no cash. I mean, I may be wearing a rado watch, and maybe sitting in an expensive car, and may be working on my gadgets, but I'm just so sorry to inform you that I got no money!"
Second, are the snobbish people who don't even bother to look outside the window to see what exactly is causing "that banging noise". They won't say a word. They'll pretend like they don't see anything, like the eunuchs are just some invisible individuals.
And the final type of people are the ones who are, well, whom I like to call "fattoos". Now, that's a hindi word for "cowards". These are the people who either pretend to be or truly are scared of these eunuchs. The minute the rickshaw stops at a traffic signal, they start digging through their pockets for money. They don't want to "take the risk". And it's not something as minute as a rupee. No. They have to give away 10 rupees just to that one chick who "scared them". These people have all the loose change to give to these eunuchs but when it comes to the rickshaw wala bhaiya, "Sorry boss, chutte nai hai!"
(If you believe you're one of these people, comment in the section below. Also, if I've missed a category, do let me know.)
If you don't know who a eunuch is, I'm going to put the definition into two simple words; castrated males; which actually just means, that they've had their male genitalia removed in order to adopt to feminism. I'm not going to lie, it's a poor effort, but they have become a regular part of our lives.
May it be in trains or at traffic signals, street corners or bus stops, eunuchs, or the mumbai-ya word that we've developed, "chakkas", have found a way to creep into our lives by begging, no, wait, DEMANDING for money. It's a huge industry. Rampant on the streets, these eunuchs refuse to leave your car window at a signal or your face or hands or clothes at bus stops.
Now, as a Mumbaikar, I've observed closely, that, there are, in fact, 3 types of people who have 3 different methods of dealing with these demanding "women".
First, are the adorable people who don't want to be rude so they respond with things like "hey, you know what? I got no cash. I mean, I may be wearing a rado watch, and maybe sitting in an expensive car, and may be working on my gadgets, but I'm just so sorry to inform you that I got no money!"
Second, are the snobbish people who don't even bother to look outside the window to see what exactly is causing "that banging noise". They won't say a word. They'll pretend like they don't see anything, like the eunuchs are just some invisible individuals.
And the final type of people are the ones who are, well, whom I like to call "fattoos". Now, that's a hindi word for "cowards". These are the people who either pretend to be or truly are scared of these eunuchs. The minute the rickshaw stops at a traffic signal, they start digging through their pockets for money. They don't want to "take the risk". And it's not something as minute as a rupee. No. They have to give away 10 rupees just to that one chick who "scared them". These people have all the loose change to give to these eunuchs but when it comes to the rickshaw wala bhaiya, "Sorry boss, chutte nai hai!"
(If you believe you're one of these people, comment in the section below. Also, if I've missed a category, do let me know.)
Anyway, coming back to the topic, someone needs to come up with a generalized method to stop this "eunuch-ian rule". Now before you ask "But who gives you the right to do so?" I want to clarify, that, this is MY method. I use this method to get rid of awkward situations with eunuchs and it really helps. So, no judgement if you think this method is lame, but, you can't deny the fact that it works EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Alright, so this is what I do. Every time I stop at a signal, I literally wait nowadays for these eunuchs to hit me with their "de naa". So when that does happen, I make eye contact with them. This may seem terrifying as hell, but once you try to look past the cheap make up, they still are humans, with feelings, possibly.
So after I make eye contact, I slowly smile at them. Not the good one, but the scary "Sheldon Cooper" one. Only enough to make me look sane. Now this will come as a shock to you, but half of the time, they get scared at this step. They decide to go to the opposite rickshaw, or the one behind yours because they think that you're creepy. Very.
If she hasn't gone yet, because she thinks she is brave enough to tackle you, the third step is to ask them softly "Don't you have some other work? Is this the best you can pull off?". Usually it works in Hindi because they're more familiar with it.
As soon as you pop that question, believe me, my friend, they flip. Like literally. They get so mad at you for asking that question that they don't bother anymore to pay attention to your money.
I developed this method only because it makes me furious to know that people are willing to give these people money just because they want it? I wish my parents did this to me.
"Hey dad, de na".
"K beta, here, a 100,000 dollars!"
WHAT?
This is wrong. It shouldn't happen. What are you even thinking? You're encouraging them to ask for more. It's stupidity. If you give these eunuchs money, they're only going to get motivated to continue this practice.
The last I checked, this community was seen as a threat and we didn't want them to flourish in our country. Yeah, sure, they're humans and we should respect them afterall, but let's be realistic for a moment. Do we really want that?
Tum badlo, desh badlega.
Modi sab akele thodi na karega.
-Written by an overconfident Homo sapien; follow me on Twitter@justhowifeel_97, and read my blog.
Alright, so this is what I do. Every time I stop at a signal, I literally wait nowadays for these eunuchs to hit me with their "de naa". So when that does happen, I make eye contact with them. This may seem terrifying as hell, but once you try to look past the cheap make up, they still are humans, with feelings, possibly.
So after I make eye contact, I slowly smile at them. Not the good one, but the scary "Sheldon Cooper" one. Only enough to make me look sane. Now this will come as a shock to you, but half of the time, they get scared at this step. They decide to go to the opposite rickshaw, or the one behind yours because they think that you're creepy. Very.
If she hasn't gone yet, because she thinks she is brave enough to tackle you, the third step is to ask them softly "Don't you have some other work? Is this the best you can pull off?". Usually it works in Hindi because they're more familiar with it.
As soon as you pop that question, believe me, my friend, they flip. Like literally. They get so mad at you for asking that question that they don't bother anymore to pay attention to your money.
I developed this method only because it makes me furious to know that people are willing to give these people money just because they want it? I wish my parents did this to me.
"Hey dad, de na".
"K beta, here, a 100,000 dollars!"
WHAT?
This is wrong. It shouldn't happen. What are you even thinking? You're encouraging them to ask for more. It's stupidity. If you give these eunuchs money, they're only going to get motivated to continue this practice.
The last I checked, this community was seen as a threat and we didn't want them to flourish in our country. Yeah, sure, they're humans and we should respect them afterall, but let's be realistic for a moment. Do we really want that?
Tum badlo, desh badlega.
Modi sab akele thodi na karega.
-Written by an overconfident Homo sapien; follow me on Twitter@justhowifeel_97, and read my blog.